So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
