will power is for people who don't want to get laid
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
