I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I think people are normalizing furries
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
