didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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