; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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