You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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