The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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