Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
