Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
