Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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