I hate your face
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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