I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
