We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
