As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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