Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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