i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
