Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
