You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
