Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
