Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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