You can't special order awesome
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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