so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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