sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
