Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
