so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Are we still banned from the library?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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