"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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