i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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