i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
