You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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