i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
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I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
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On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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