There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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