Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
