If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
