Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I love you. Go after that dick
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
