i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
