Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Say something about gay babies.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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