My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
