Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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