Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
