...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
