At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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