Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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