sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
