how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize