Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
They have beer where we have blood.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
