I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
