respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize