He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
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i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I have tasted many bathrooms