dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...