There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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