I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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