I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
