You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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