she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
