I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
