Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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