Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
