i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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