you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
