me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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